3/30/07
Just a bunch of random crap for your viewing pleasure, dear readers.
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She Wet Her Pants, Too; Probably Brought On By Peeing Herself
Okay, I actually overheard this conversation:
Broad #1: Yeah, my niece went to the ER, but it turns out it was just a panic attack.
Broad #2: It was probably brought on by stress.
Yeah, you know, as opposed to all those panic attacks brought on by eating pudding in a hot tub. I wonder what it’s like to run through life with your mouth on autopilot, just totally disconnected from your brain.
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Just a bunch of random crap for your viewing pleasure, dear readers.
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She Wet Her Pants, Too; Probably Brought On By Peeing HerselfOkay, I actually overheard this conversation:
Broad #1: Yeah, my niece went to the ER, but it turns out it was just a panic attack.
Broad #2: It was probably brought on by stress.
Yeah, you know, as opposed to all those panic attacks brought on by eating pudding in a hot tub. I wonder what it’s like to run through life with your mouth on autopilot, just totally disconnected from your brain.
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Save Nose-Goblins, Collect Valuable PrizesWhy are people still using handkerchiefs? I saw one make an appearance just the other day. A dude took it out, blew his fucking nose, looked into it at what he’d made, of course, then just calmly put this snotty rag back into his pocket like this isn’t the behavior of someone who might keep cat heads in his freezer.
You would think those would have been retired with the advent of Kleenex. I can scarcely think of anything more disgusting than a nasal-discharge storage device you just never throw away. My Dad had some of these when I was a kid, and I remember coming across used ones here or there, as if he was saving them for some future archeologist to discover. Maybe people who use handkerchiefs are simply fascinated by their own boogers…like a heinous Rorschach test or something.
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While We’re At It, Let’s Lose Regis & Kelly, TooIf I never hear the giggled phrase “I think that’s an HR issue!” again it’ll be too soon. This is the workplace equivalent of “oh no she did-nnn’t!” and is used exclusively by people who mistakenly think they’re funny. You know the type; usually older, dangerously out-of-touch individuals who think Dr. Phil is a scream and do anything Oprah tells them.
The phrase should be retired. So should the people. Either that or shot. I care not which.
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Cut; That’s A Wrap
Parents, lose the male hoodie if you want to help give your boys a stronger levy against HIV and AIDS. The World Heath Organization and UNAIDS has recommended male circumcision as a method toward prevention of the rampant AIDS epidemic in Africa. Circumcision lends a 53-60% reduction in the risk of HIV in heterosexual men, according to a study done last year. Not only does it give the cock a charming level of personality, but hacking off that turtleneck is helpful for those who would rather risk a prolonged, agonizing disease than wrap up their junk before putting the old skin-flute to the town pump.
I guess HIV likes to hide inside that little sausage-case tip just waiting for its chance to shine. Good news for the 30% of the world population (665 million) with a naked wiener.
Read the full story here at allAfrica.com
Cut; That’s A WrapParents, lose the male hoodie if you want to help give your boys a stronger levy against HIV and AIDS. The World Heath Organization and UNAIDS has recommended male circumcision as a method toward prevention of the rampant AIDS epidemic in Africa. Circumcision lends a 53-60% reduction in the risk of HIV in heterosexual men, according to a study done last year. Not only does it give the cock a charming level of personality, but hacking off that turtleneck is helpful for those who would rather risk a prolonged, agonizing disease than wrap up their junk before putting the old skin-flute to the town pump.
I guess HIV likes to hide inside that little sausage-case tip just waiting for its chance to shine. Good news for the 30% of the world population (665 million) with a naked wiener.
Read the full story here at allAfrica.com
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Just what in the bloody blue fuck happened to Carrot Top?!
Jesus...
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