Maine Demon Dog

3/6/07


I ran across the core of the following story on a very strange blog with the strange moniker Never Yet Melted. From what I can glean, Melted makes the bizarre combination of being a right-wing conglomeration that posts odd news stories from around the world. I found this one particularly interesting, so I thought I’d bring it to you with my own curious brand of rapier wit.


It’s particularly apropos that a story about an elusive, demonic killer dog comes out of the New England state goodly enough to spawn Stephen King. Since 1991 there have been reports from Androscoggin County in Maine about a hyena-like creature which screeches in the night like a banshee and occasionally pops around to slaughter large dogs. One couple sold their Litchfield home and moved out of the area after only hearing the creature’s howl outside their house. Mr. David, the husband said,

“It sent a chill up my spine. There was a creature out there and it was making a sound I can’t describe as earthly.”

In August of 2004 one man reported that his Doberman had been savaged and killed by an unknown animal that came out of the woods. Septuagenarian Leo Doyon from Auburn said, “I was out on the deck having a cigarette and coffee when this thing came up over the bank…I said, ‘What the hell is this?

“It was no wolf. It sure as hell wasn’t a fisher and it wasn’t a coy dog,” Doyon said. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what it was.” A fisher is a species of marten related to the wolverine, and a “coy dog” is the offspring of a coyote and a dog.

The thing was spotted along the road by an animal control officer who was just about as helpful at identifying it as Doyon. The best he could say was that it looked kind of like a hyena, apparently a common description of the beast.

All that is weird enough for a Tuesday morning, but it appears that some believe the legendary monster dog-thing was killed by a car this past summer. Some kind of animal was killed when chasing a cat across the road of Route 4, but nobody could identify just precisely what the fuck it was. My favorite description comes from Michelle O’Donnell of Turner, who spotted the creature in her yard a few days before its death. She said it looked like a “hybrid mutant of something.” She went on to say “it was evil looking. And it had a horrible stench I will never forget.” I’m sure for a few moments she thought Dick Cheney had wandered onto her property. Glorious. The following pictures were taken by residents of the area, and, yeah…that thing’s weird looking.

Just for some sense of scale, the animal was estimated to weigh between 40 and 50 pounds. I don’t know what it is, but then I’m not a state wildlife official. They were too busy jerking off chipmunks or whatever it is they do to be bothered to come take a look at the single most interesting thing to come out of Maine since chowd’a. They declined to go investigate.

Portland author and cryptozoologist Loren Coleman was a bit less of a dick, and said that he couldn’t identify it either, but said it reminded him of a case from northern Maine in which a hunter shot a similar animal which couldn’t be immediately identified. Wildlife officials procured DNA in that case, and the beast turned out to be a rare wolf-dog hybrid.

Whatever it is, that thing is fairly frightening. Whenever somebody finds a rotting Bigfoot carcass in his pool I hope Fish & Game can be bothered to check it out. A’yeah.




Other Reports about the Mad Maine Monster:
Maine’s Dog-Killing “Hyena” – Cryptomundo.com
Creature Confounds Witnesses – Mark La Flamme
Mystery Beast Discovered in Maine – AP

Bonus Note:

Hanni and I didn’t make it to Target last night, but we did hit JCPenney Home Store and Bed, Bath & Beyond. I think Target will be Hanni’s real bread and butter, as she had a pretty subdued reaction to the selection of the former. Personally I had me a gift-gasm over the Calphalon cookware at B.B.B.