8/17/06
I’ve been reading a great deal lately about scandals in America’s past and was struck by how much presidential doormat Warren G. Harding, 29th President of these United States 1921-1923, reminded me of our current Commander in Chief. Well, there are a few notable exceptions. Harding knew he was completely unqualified and incompetent for the job and he had an almost pathological need to be liked. Clearly President Bush suffers neither of these qualities. Harding noted once that “I am completely unfit for this office,” whereas Dubya believes God Himself wanted him to become president. However, they do resemble each other in many fascinating ways.
Personality
Hard as I find it to believe, what with that smarmy attitude and cartoon villain chuckle of his, President Bush is widely regarded by those who’ve met him as a pretty swell, likable guy. So was Harding, who used to routinely personally answer letters sent to him by ordinary citizens and chat and shake hands with people out on the White House lawn. This really isn’t possible for Bush, though, as he’s as like to get a grenade in the face as a handshake.
Cronyism
It’s only natural for a president to employ and reward those who have stuck with him and aided in his election to the office. Most presidents, however, take the view that getting hammered with a dude or sheer length of friendship is no grounds for important office. Harding, like President Bush, disagreed.
Warren’s terminal need to be liked led him to also cram his administration with friends and hangers-on, some of which were his poker buddies who regularly gamed with prohibition-era liquor supplied by Harding. In some cases the poor president was simply out-maneuvered or manipulated into these appointments. Most notable was Harry M. Daugherty, the Republican Party boss and member of the Ohio Gang who engineered Harding’s nomination and was instrumental in his subsequent (unwanted) election. Upon taking the reigns of leadership and despite protests, Harding appointed Daugherty Attorney General of the United States saying that Daugherty has been his best friend. Find out why this, among other appointments, was maybe kind of a bad idea:
Scandals
If there’s one thing that dominated Harding’s administration, it was scandal, boy. Bush’s have come more in the form of appointing inept circus monkeys to high government positions (Brownie, I’m looking in your direction) and being unlucky enough to have a republican Congress who views ethics and laws as more of a quaint suggestion.
Sometimes the actions of Harding’s appointments were downright criminal. Kinda like tapping American citizens’ phones without a warrant or indefinitely imprisoning “enemy combatants” and wiping your ass with the Geneva Convention. But we know all about Bush’s greatest hits; what about Warren?
The only thing most of us know, if anything, about Warren G. Harding’s presidency is The Teapot Dome Scandal, and I’d bet dollars to doughnuts you only remember the name as some vague file in your memory folder marked “8th Grade History”. What actually happened is most likely edged out by images of Marcy Perkins in her cheerleading uniform. Fear not; I’m here to help.
Harry M. Daugherty convinced the out-of-his-depth Harding to appoint the walrus-mustachioed Senator Albert B. Fall (R) from New Mexico as Secretary of the Interior. In 1922 there was this oil field in Wyoming, its reserves under the jurisdiction of Secretary of the Navy, Edwin C. Denby. (Why people all felt the need to use middle initials back then I don’t know.) Fall, perhaps by threatening Denby with poo on the end of a pointed stick, convinced the latter to transfer control of the oil reserves over to Fall’s Office of the Interior. Fall then promptly turned around and leased out the oil rights to Sinclair Oil without bothering with all that pesky, public competitive bidding. He also leased Californian oil reserves to Pan American Petroleum in exchange for personal, interest-free loans. After all was said and done, Fall had received over $400,000 from the debacle.
Sort of reminds one of certain modern Congressmen taking bribes from lobbyists and Indian casinos, not to mention certain other companies (Halliburton!) getting preferential government contracts. Hmm…
Incidentally, why was it called “The Teapot Dome Scandal?” One of they Wyoming oil fields kinda looked like a domed teapot.
Trumping even Teapot Dome in pure monetary value was Charles Forbes, appointed by Harding to head of the Veteran’s Administration. Forbes actually met Harding in Hawaii, and had a close relationship with Warren’s sister Caroline and her husband Heber Votaw. During his trial it came out that Forbes had pumped millions of dollars out of the fund set up to give care and aid to ailing veterans. What a gem.
In summation, ladies and gentlemen, Bush, unlike Harding, desperately aspired to and wields his office. It’s still up in the air as to whether he is the genesis of his controversial and aggressive policies or more of a puppet, manipulated by those around him like Rumsfeld and Cheney. I rather think it’s more of the former than the latter, and in that he’s also unlike the much beset-upon Harding. I also think Bush’s administration will be better remembered that Harding’s, but perhaps not for terribly different reasons. Where Harding’s legacy is purely the scandals of his administration, Bush’s administration will be eclipsed by his actions in Iraq. I just bet’cha.
Alright enough for now, dear readers. Maybe tomorrow we can make a return to dick and poop jokes. Tah-tah.
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