K. Tarin: Nincompoop

12/7/06

I was searching reviews for a book I’m currently reading by Frans de Waal entitled Our Inner Ape, when I came across a post on Amazon.com by K. Tarin “2hard2please”.

I think I might accidentally touch-off a negative feedback loop by amateurishly criticizing the already amateur criticism of K. Tarin, who, it appears, spends the bulk of his/her time vomiting insanity all over Amazon.com reviews. But sometimes the Universe just throws something at me that’s so bizarre and hilariously irritating, I have to vent my frustration or just start chucking live ordinance at people on the street.

Our Inner Ape is a book by a leading primatologist contrasting and comparing the habits of our closest living relatives, chimps and bonobos, with our own social and political proclivities. It’s quite an interesting read, although K. Tarin begs to differ. Here’s and excerpt from his review:

“We share over 98% of DNA and many behaviors [sic] Why then, has never a Chimp
or a Bonobo ever been filmed praying? or making an Idol out of a stick? They use
tools right?
“Why haven't any animals been recorded sitting around having any
conversations? They yell and make plenty of noises, the world over, but none
have ever been recorded sitting around and have any conversations.”

I’ll give you some time to let the heaping craziness sink in there. It’s hard to even criticize this kind of thing, because the statement is just so out-and-out loony. Proposing a rational argument to the above is somewhat akin to trying to explain how you’d really rather keep your legs, thanks, to a marauding shark who has just sheared you off at the torso. I fail to understand the sideways leap in logic that leads K. Tarin to surmise that because we are similar in DNA and some social aspects, chimps should be kneeling in front of deities sculpted from poo or whatever. And as for “having conversations,” what exactly is he expecting to see? It’s clear that apes communicate, sorry if they don’t use the Queen’s English and wear smoking jackets while doing it, you freak.

And yeah, so maybe it’s only a crappy Amazon review, but the trend of refusing to capitalize properly or take the time to put an apostrophe into contractions is just disgusting. Not to mention K. Tarin’s private war on the readability of one’s writing. His sentences read like something written by a sixth-grader, then translated into several different, dead languages and back into English.

Here’s another good one, where K. Tarin reviews A Terrible Love of War by James Hillman. I haven’t read the book, but it appears to be a hotly contested book concerning why we make war, including a rather scathing and possibly misguided assertion that Christians are the worst offenders of all. K. Tarin, as in other reviews, proclaims that “abortion kills more than all wars combined,” and goes on to say:

“This book doesn't address the condition of man and mans condition as its been
forever, as in thousands of years. and to single out Christianity as war mongers
is tarded, the whole world is and has been into wars. Name ONE century in
history, yes all of history, where there has been no wars? ( hint, its zero )”

Oh the sheer, unadulterated glee K. Tarin must experience when trotting out his favorite criticism; that something is “tarded.” My gray matter quivers. I won’t bother to point out that “man’s condition” has been going on for far longer than a few thousand years, but I think his argument might have had a little more punch had our friendly neighborhood psycho said “name on year” where there was no war instead of “one century,” since that’s just the stupidest request in our apparently short history.

But take heart! K. Tarin does appear to like some things. Here in his review of People of God: The History of Catholic Christianity, K. Tarin gives the book 5 stars! I haven’t read this book either, but I can only assume he’s missing some massive point when he writes:

“Points out many great "things" “How about, you never meet people that ( have
read the bible for themselves, as in on their own ) convert from Christianity to
Catholic? Meaning I have never meet a Catholic that used to be a Christian.
However I have met, and numerous numbers at that, Christians that used to be
Catholics. This is taking into account those who read the bible on their own
free will, alone, away from study and or structured organized religion of any
kind.”

K. Tarin is using something popular with most people who don’t know what they’re talking about; the “if I haven’t encountered it, it must be bullshit” argument. And, this isn’t my area of expertise, but I think Catholics are Christians. Yeah, pretty sure. It’s right there in the title of the book, you drooling ninny.

I’ve gone on about some douche-bag reviewer for long enough today, but tune in tomorrow when we examine why K. Turin seems to spend every penny on things from Amazon he knows he hates, and just how empty a shell of a human he must be.