12/22/06
Hanni bought some chips made with Olestra the other day. So…you know…this Christmas we're going to be pooping machines afflicted with Rickets.
(For those of you who don't know why that's funny, click the link.)
Biggest Lie I Heard Today
Female Employee: I'm glad I wasn't much in the looks department in high school so I didn't get nominated for queen.
Most Boring Thing I Heard Today
"I saw they had new sugar-free Lifesavers, so I bought some and thought I'd see if I like 'em."
Quackity-Quack, Fuck You
I am baffled, baffled I say, by the number of people who think those damn stuffed toys that dance and sing some twisted, alternate version of a popular song are funny and cute. They're not. They're stupid. And annoying. And playing them in the office makes me imagine what it would be like to shove venomous frogs inside you.
How many times can a duck in a Santa hat singing "Quackity-quack, don't talk back" really be funny? Then again, people seem to like racist rednecks who tell bad jokes, too. People are morons. Holy shit and where's the Tylenol?
About Me
- Ryan Jett
- Springfield, Missouri, United States
- I’m in my mid-30s and still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Most of my interests do not exactly come with a reasonable expectation of financial success, things such as artwork and fiction writing. I’ve been married to a delightful, attractive woman for five years, and, thankfully, neither of us wants to have children, so we can look forward to adult vacations, sleeping late, and disposable income. We do have two dogs, two chinchillas, a gerbil, and three chickens. Only the chickens seem to be pulling their weight vis-à-vis contributions to the household other than excrement.
No comments:
Post a Comment