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Springfield, Missouri, United States
I’m in my mid-30s and still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Most of my interests do not exactly come with a reasonable expectation of financial success, things such as artwork and fiction writing. I’ve been married to a delightful, attractive woman for five years, and, thankfully, neither of us wants to have children, so we can look forward to adult vacations, sleeping late, and disposable income. We do have two dogs, two chinchillas, a gerbil, and three chickens. Only the chickens seem to be pulling their weight vis-à-vis contributions to the household other than excrement.

Friday, October 27, 2006

In My Office




10/27/06


Stupidest Thing to be Smug About Ever:

“I tell you what, I’m trying to go faster but the computer can’t keep up with
me. I put the numbers in faster than it can post and it’s causing problems.”


Doubly stupid since this was said to a peer; nary a superior in sight. The only thing sucking sideways can get you is those around you imagining new and creative ways to do you bodily harm. Saying something like this illustrates you as a person who would call someone into a room so you could spend ten minutes pointing out the fascinating way in which you arranged your houseplants. What a douche-bag.


Proportionate Response

I think it’s unfair that you can walk around the office with a wild scowl on your face, carrying a handful of pruning knives and people just think you’re headed to the cafeteria for lunch, but you try to play catch with one squirrel… Oh now, then you’re crazy.


Stupidest Thing Heard Before 9 a.m.

Bear in mind the following was said without any irony whatsoever.

“We are so much more smart.”


Yes. You certainly are.

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