Attack of the Clones

10/31/06

There seems to be some confusion out there. I realize trying to extrude the nugget of truth buried somewhere inside the shit-mountain of political ads and 20-second sound bites can be difficult. Voter turn out in this country hovers right around the 50% mark and most people think their vote matters about as much as what flavor icing to put on their toaster strudel. This mentality I can understand. What I also understand but find staggeringly terrifying is the number of willfully ignorant people who go to the polls and vote without really being aware of what their voting for or why. I don’t mean they’re stupid, though there’s no shortage of that category, either; no, I mean seemingly functional adult human beings who vote, I guess, based on something they read etched into a bathroom wall.

Aside from the great honor of choosing either a right-wing ass-clown who gutted Medicaid or an uncharismatic left-winger who is so moderate I could die in the Senate race this year, Missouri has several amendments on the ballot for the upcoming election. The most hotly debated is Amendment 2. If passed, Amendment 2 would allow stem cell research to be conducted in the Show-Me State. I’ll just wait while the sound of rifles cocking and bibles opening subsides.

I had thought the idea was straight-forward, but apparently even one as cynical as I can have bouts of naïveté. I had thought that the fact stem cell research is not cloning, and the fact that Amendment 2 does not allow human cloning, would be enough to assure people that we’re not attempting to turn Missouri into a haven for hand-wringing madmen bent on creating a personal army of super-soldiers. Well, you know, that, and the fact that it’s a plot from Star Wars, but in either event, I was wrong.

I was nearly shocked into a coma when talking to a friend of mine the other day and he mentioned that some very special individuals at his job believe the point of Amendment 2 is to allow fully-formed human clones to be warehoused, I guess, for organ harvesting. Which…is also a movie plot. After I got over the initial jolt of a reminder at just how insane our species can be, it was almost funny. I would have imagined that if one thought about it for more than six seconds, they would realize that, aside from psychotically detached from reality, that theory has the gaping hole of necessitating a Senator with enough balls to introduce a bill which contains allowances for cloned organ farms.

As far as I’m aware, the Stem Cell Initiative is meant for the development of medical procedures and treatments for diseases such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, not the plot to a Superman comic from 1965. It’s not human cloning, okay? It’s just not. You can call it cloning if you want, but then again, you can call syphilis chocolate syrup; it doesn’t make it so and please don’t put it on my ice cream.

Speaking of Parkinson’s Disease, let’s talk about Michael J. Fox. There is a commercial running right now which has Michael talking about the importance of the Stem Cell Initiative so in the future, people like him can, you know, not die. Care to watch?



Pretty depressing, huh? The worst part of this whole thing is that after the ad came out, right-wingers led by Rush Limbaugh blasted him for allowing himself to be used by and “shilling for” the democrats. Yeah, how dare he go on television and express an opinion for what he believes in to find a cure for the disease he has. What a selfish prick. Oh, did we mention that Michael won’t even be around to enjoy the cure? Yeah, he’ll die of Parkinson’s before it can be found even if Amendment 2 passes. What a shill.

Rush, sensitive son of a bitch that he is, even suggested that Fox was hamming it up for the camera, making his tremors worse than they actually were. Either that, or Rush surmised that Fox had deliberately not taken his medication to that end. Is it irony for Rush to suggest someone else is abusing prescription drugs? Any description of what a selfish, disgusting prick of a human being Limbaugh is couldn’t come close to the truth, so I just leave it to your imagination, dear reader.


If you’re voting, there is no excuse in this day and age of instant information at your fingertips not to get informed, preferably from a third-party source not affiliated with any particular agenda before you form an opinion. Then ask me if you’re right or not; I’ll be happy to tell you what you should think.

Vote November 3rd, ladies and gentlemen!



See here to read more about Amendment 2 and the other bills on the ballot for Missouri.